Day: May 16, 2023

human resources managementhuman resources management

Tetman Callis 0 Comments 5:07 pm

i got laid off weeks ago and never
dreamed it would be this difficult to find
a new job. the lights are low and the house
is cold. an unfamiliar rumbling
is coming from my stomach.

my résumé lies on its sans-serif
surface. is this all there is? the question
in the faces of human resources
managers who read my thinly-written
claims to general expertise, shabby
as ostrich plumes eaten away by
avian lice, revealing the flabby
body of an inexpensive fan-dancer
with a cellulite problem, who prances
onstage amid catcalls and dreams.

who pretends not to notice. who takes an
overripe tomato smack in the forehead,
but never loses her poise or her shit-eating
grin, and almost never misses a step.

(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)

office memo poemoffice memo poem

Tetman Callis 0 Comments 6:23 am

boss,

here are the procedures for recording your voice onto your computer and copying the file to a compact disk.

  1. make sure the mike is plugged in.
  2. open system preferences.
  3. open sound, which is in hardware.
  4. open the input window.

and do something with it which i could figure out how to do except you just interrupted me to talk about the hundreds of hours of your home movies you want me to edit and then you want me to do your taxes because your wife used to do them but you haven’t got a wife anymore and hey boss neither do i but you said maybe you can get her to come in and train me

i’m sure she would be thrilled i know i would i have a weakness for other men’s ex-wives

and then there are the authority files you want me to scan

and now you are walking out the door to get a haircut telling me you’ll be in touch while i sit here pretending i’m working

which is what i usually do
and usually it works

(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)

Tetman Callis 0 Comments 6:22 am

“The journey into history can help us make sense of the barrage of daily news reports, allowing us to react thoughtfully to events and thus shape their outcome.” – Serhii Plokhy, The Gates of Europe