the candy-bar wrapper says
i’m having a contest
you could win a truckload of money
buy me and open me up and see
so i do
the candy-bar wrapper says
sorry, you are not a winner
sorry, try again
sorry, this will rot your insides out
sorry, your tire just went flat
sorry, your last four checks bounced
sorry, your cat ran away
sorry, your dog was last seen chasing your cat
sorry, your wife was last seen chasing some dog
sorry, the candy-bar wrapper says
thanks for playing
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
i see pencilled in on the calendar
that this morning i am to visit the jail
and deliver an order of the court
to my client held there. fuck. what
should i tell her? the truth? fuck that.
here’s the truth: she doesn’t have
a snowball’s chance in hell of being
released on any kind of bond. she’s
going to be held by the feds until they
try her sometime next year, then she’s
going to be found guilty and sentenced
to five years in federal lock-up, after
which sentence she’ll be deported back
to her home country, the muslim nation
where she’s a christian decidedly in
the minority, where she’ll be harassed
until one night a mob will come to her
home and rape her and kill her and
mutilate her corpse. can’t tell her that.
got to put on a happy face and tell her
everything will be all right, that we’ll
get her out soon. i think i’ll go in
early and get a breakfast burrito. didn’t
get a chance to have much of a supper
last night. some food right now might
improve my mood. then i can tell
my client anything i damn well please,
so long as i don’t tell her the truth.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“The wife is a man’s half. The wife is the first of friends. The wife is the root of religion, profit, and desire. The wife is the root of salvation. They that have wives can perform religious acts. They that have wives can lead domestic lives. They that have wives have the means to be cheerful. They that have wives can achieve good fortune. Sweet-speeched wives are friends on occasions of joy. They are as fathers on occasions of religious acts. They are mothers in sickness and woe. Even in the deep woods to a traveller a wife is his refreshment and solace. He that hath a wife is trusted by all.” – The Mahabharata of Krishna-Dwaipayana Vyasa, Vol. I, Sambhava Parva of the Adi Parva, trans. Pratap Chandra Roy