if there’s nothing new under the sun,
should our searchings be confined to the shadows?
in the shaded places would we have any hope to find
crystals that might in the open reflect and refract
colors we could never name?
our world is old and dying.
our words echo down empty wells.
something scurries in the darkness.
we don’t know its name,
it draws near.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
you reach a certain age, you think about
death all the time. not that it’s an obsession.
it’s a companion, with you while you walk
along the sidewalk, cars speeding past you
down the street, inches away (inches
away). with you when you cross the street
(jaywalking? against the light?). with you while
you ride your ten-speed bike (not fast enough,
your bike, not massive enough, no protective
cage). with you when you eat your dinner.
with you when you do your morning push-ups,
jumping jacks, running in place (going nowhere).
all but holding your hand when you hack up
clots of sputum, too much smoking for too
many years (the surgeon general warned you—
he warned you! you wouldn’t listen). you watch
your diet and watch your weight. you watch
and wait, you’re never alone now. you
couldn’t be more alone.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“An overstrained sense of manliness is the characteristic of seafaring men, or, rather, of life on board ship. This often gives an appearance of want of feeling, and even of cruelty. From this, if a man comes within an ace of breaking his neck and escapes, it is made a joke of; and no notice must be taken of a bruise or cut; and any expression of pity, or any show of attention, would look sisterly, and unbecoming a man who has to face the rough and tumble of such a life. From this, too, the sick are neglected at sea, and whatever sailors may be ashore, a sick man finds little sympathy or attention, forward or aft. A man, too, can have nothing peculiar or sacred on board ship; for all the nicer feelings they take pride in disregarding, both in themselves and others. A thin-skinned man could not live an hour on ship-board. One would be torn raw unless he had the hide of an ox. A moment of natural feeling for home and friends, and then the frigid routine of sea-life returned.” – Richard Henry Dana, Two Years Before the Mast
you think it’s romantic
you think
it’s romantic that too drunk to get
off the couch
swilling beer whiskey cheap wine
mornings afternoons you think
it’s romantic that too drunk to get
off the floor in front of the t.v.
the baby’s crying his diaper sopping
wet so romantic so poetic well
you go live it
you go live it
you tell me how romantic
you go live it and you tell me
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
yard full of dogs
barking two houses down
any and all hours of the night
one dozen local cats (give or take)
fighting spitting yowling
screeching spats in syncopation
with the yard of dogs
snoring wife
she subvocalizes too
sometimes even calls out
words she never hears
middle-aged bladder
parked atop my piss-pipe
demanding attentive relief in the dark
this has gone on for months
secret police know the toll
not long before he breaks down
confesses to everything
later in the day at my desk in the office
no place to lie down
no carpet on the hardwood floor
the boss right around the corner
my chair is on wheels
the floor is smooth
no sleeping here no sleeping
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“It has been said, that the greatest curse to each of the South Sea islands, was the first man who discovered it; and every one who knows anything of the history of our commerce in those parts, knows how much truth there is in this; and that the white men, with their vices, have brought in diseases before unknown to the islanders, and which are now sweeping off the native population of the Sandwich Islands, at the rate of one fortieth of the entire population annually. They seem to be a doomed people. The curse of a people calling themselves Christian, seems to follow them everywhere.” – Richard Henry Dana, Two Years Before the Mast
it happened not too far from here, last night,
just a few blocks up that way. there was this
guy beating his wife. she ran outside
and down the street, screaming for help. he ran
after her. a neighbor stepped in, told
the husband, hey, stop beating your wife.
the husband said, she is my wife and i
will beat her. the wife screamed. the neighbor said,
no, really, stop beating your wife or i
will shoot you. he had a gun. the husband
said, she is my wife and i will beat her.
you won’t shoot me. the neighbor said, yes, i
will, so stop. the wife screamed, but the husband
didn’t stop, so the neighbor shot him, twice.
once to stop him, and once to make sure.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
bon jour, man
we made something really bad
daddy, can we switch?
switch arms?
are you going to tell me?
(something inaudible whispered.)
daddy, can I have a drink?
daddy?
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“The difficulties of science are to a large extent the difficulties of notations, the units, and all the other artificialities which are invented by man, not by nature.” – Richard P. Feynman, The Feynman Lectures on Physics, Vol. I
i had the desert, it was mine
when the plates were flying across the kitchen to smash against the walls
i had the desert
it was mine to escape to and to wander in
its vast empty sky
hot sun burning my pale pink skin
whirling dust devils
tall khaki columns against the clear blue sky
dusty sand of quartz and limestone
round black stink bugs scurrying along
their butts in the air
menacing robber flies buzzing by in their zig-zag flight
tumbleweeds and wildflowers
dry grasses and goat’s-head stickers
clumps of mesquite and stands of greasewood sheltering jackrabbits
high-trilling ground squirrels heard but rarely seen
timidly scampering lizards
flanks pulsing with their breathing
shiny snouts and pinhole nostrils
dark beady eyes and tiny sharp claws
tails that came off to lay twitching in the sand
horny toads with their hundred spines
wide mouths and flat bodies
air of wisdom and of patience longer than any lifetime
grey coyotes with their howls
their sidelong glances and loping gait
they were of the desert as i was of the desert
they were mine as i was theirs
we sheltered ourselves together
keeping always our wary distance
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
not at all (for he does exude a regal air).
pick a name: pie eye, a stock name for drab mob.
areopagite, receive time, foe.
bitten, i’m odd.
date, name, i said.
did you attempt it?
weakling, not an artificer, is at tollhouse,
is yearning not to yearn (alibi).
law, house, and town
done gone and hit the riser.
dew-daddy said, she, son, is aware of no web.
i’m teaching of ogle pie.
ecumenical tears, my lieb, abrogate a rift.
nominal goes the road before the king.
day, come down, dismember.
(tit cankered a day for you, life. self-nubile,
you arm many a clucking maid;
so sure, you elocute car jags.)
tea service neat, egg hid, equal,
dew-daddy says, can’t count a sty, or you.
odd, that a man rages.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“The American has no national religion, and likes to show his independence of priestcraft by doing as he chooses on the Lord’s day.” – Richard Henry Dana, Two Years Before the Mast
you rot.
i retch.
date, try to scream. i covet,
got cot, and my hug flits wit, rends seam.
(is nine; is late;
say, oh, good evening, maw.)
foist ads. hi ho,
ha ha—lax game, yo mo-fo (hi ho).
of old, my child, new egg,
gut ohio, rust veal,
later reign. nude, you saw salomé lie down, for by your love—
no. i/you halves. you have a liar, damn you,
talisman tin.
i opt self, selfness, tin urals.
you domesticate trysts, lose four
who never seemed neighbors. (room, me snoring, sad doze.)
lion matrimoan, i hit, run. rot name-setter,
rat ovum distinguished, i ought lock niche, tug non satyra,
eject vomit. gone, i vomit steel, fey to follow armada.
you’re gorgeous, desultory.
say it—to feed image, hit gun ire.
to negate wit, ale kid.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
no stint.
you lose elation, stench.
sure, et al. is a moot clearing of throats. sit at tidy
near dark. tut, tut—
stay—lay—i’ll put on airs, sow a wave.
to vid okay—kiss. (oh, toy! right!)
rented door on this vaj, he dial you first.
secure you die, exclaim, oh! lewd is rancid.
(weak me, first nodding man.
damn, be a capulet, capitulate easy. i be an ex.)
newer, a tenuous creek,
a kind guy, i/you.
fit, all i had is you. (oy.)
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“When did she give up on escape? She was a lady—a wife, a daughter, a sister—a lady never need open a door. Patience is power, her mother had taught her. To be a lady is to be patient.” – Jennifer Blackman, “Lady Dorothy Townshend Is Descending the Stairs”
pestilence, pustules you cause—
nah. (sit tight, rap sill.)
oh, i wedded it, lode caring hotly if i rob—
or, by harm done, nettled steed swears slanders,
coward to the dead.
tuneful cadger, exhaling, exhuming,
he starts it tough. oh, stay new. hot racing
pushes my rate. i—
i kid—
i kiddle little loser
(loser, right, yet the deed).
on royal purple pus should tie here an eye,
how ought not i vie i.
i axe.
he sob,
no, it’s a loss—
i albatross.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
mmmmmm . . .
some folks like to glue shards back into pots.
sometimes eros phones up, he says, it’s time to hammer.
you pluck slag by laughing.
do sigh, it suits a dream sadder than victory
(i ate my cheerful hi!).
i ought to grub for an enigmatic nod, hum
drum, run detail, lose i.d. and cough. i baste
two swatches with whisper, add
flirtation, tell stingray soul, na la la, it’s so—
that is, you have regal oh’s.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“Revolutions are matters of constant occurrence in California. They are got up by men who are at the foot of the ladder and in desperate circumstances, just as a new political party is started by such men in our own country. The only object, of course, is the loaves and fishes; and instead of caucusing, paragraphing, libelling, feasting, promising, and lying, as with us, they take muskets and bayonets, and seizing upon the presidio and custom-house, divide the spoils, and declare a new dynasty. As for justice, they know no law but will and fear. A Yankee, who had been naturalized, and become a Catholic, and had married in the country, was sitting in his house at the Pueblo de los Angelos, with his wife and children, when a Spaniard, with whom he had had a difficulty, entered the house, and stabbed him to the heart before them all. The murderer was seized by some Yankees who had settled there, and kept in confinement until a statement of the whole affair could be sent to the governor-general. He refused to do anything about it, and the countrymen of the murdered man, seeing no prospect of justice being administered, made known that if nothing was done, they should try the man themselves. It chanced that, at this time, there was a company of forty trappers and hunters from Kentucky, with their rifles, who had made their head-quarters at the Pueblo; and these, together with the Americans and Englishmen in the place, who were between twenty and thirty in number, took possession of the town, and waiting a reasonable time, proceeded to try the man according to the forms in their own country. A judge and jury were appointed, and he was tried, convicted, sentenced to be shot, and carried out before the town, with his eyes blindfolded. The names of all the men were then put into a hat and each one pledging himself to perform his duty, twelve names were drawn out, and the men took their stations with their rifles, and, firing at the word, laid him dead. He was decently buried, and the place was restored quietly to the proper authorities.” – Richard Henry Dana, Two Years Before the Mast
if i be a whore for doing,
seize not the cessation of day.
see it (see it),
hey it, nay it—
or, sir, it’s a ninny’s to-do.
even to nod to sin as it raps down heat (a pox pot
boils—excise it.), oh, hard by sad bed.
enough of hi, my friend.
cupped hands dial phone at ten
(i might fear and meet success).
live, see job/ligation—
some ought, some will—
at your touch, my lion gate opens.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
ta . . .
ta ta ta.
i see your dripping distillations
(i see your bait dangle).
it’s half a tao, this tao.
yuck. sat a bit, some sissy fuss, lynn eating.
enough, aye, here.
the rear rug cranium jig gives agony—
so, have eight.
have eye dew.
you are a he-nine.
are! i scream,
i am your retro-nine!
for riches’ fee my ass is in the air. (you play coy.)
oh, suck muck, bays a troop of lancers.
fog is a smart-ass.
between walls, here i go.
making novellas of suns, i go.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“No one has ever been on distant voyages, and after a long absence received a newspaper from home, who cannot understand the delight that they give one. I read every part of them—the houses to let; things lost or stolen; auction sales, and all. Nothing carries you so entirely to a place, and makes you feel so perfectly at home, as a newspaper.” – Richard Henry Dana, Two Years Before the Mast
zup
zup til three this mornng
gzausted
got all deadlines met
or will when get to post office
mail stuff
gzausted
must go
miles to go
must go
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
it was the best of the worst of times.
a season when victorian faerie-paintings were all the rage.
slender maidens gazing with vacuous wonderment
at tiny insect humans dancing and cavorting,
glowing like irradiated mutant survivors
of defense department tests.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“It will turn out . . . that many simple things can be deduced mathematically more rapidly than they can be really understood in a fundamental or simple sense. This is a strange characteristic, and . . . there are circumstances in which mathematics will produce results which no one has really been able to understand in any direct fashion.” – Richard P. Feynman, The Feynman Lectures on Physics, Vol. I (emphasis in original)
when i grow up
i want to be a quantum mechanic
fixing photons
that may or may not be there
there’s a beautiful sunset today
maybe
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
this breakfast is nice
the berries
the roots
the little lizards roasted on a spit
but i have to get to work
go down in the cave
paint some more of those lions and rhinos
herds of horses galloping over the plains
if i don’t paint them
down there in the dark
they won’t come back
reborn and running next spring
okay
you can come
you can help if you like
i’ll let you hold the torch
if we have time
we’ll spray some outlines of our hands.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“Some of the first vessels brought dogs out with them, who, for convenience, were left ashore, and there multiplied, until they came to be a great people.” – Richard Henry Dana, Two Years Before the Mast
subject vehicle southbound on interstate twenty-five at
or about the hour of three thirty-six a.m. was brought
to impact against the left retaining wall subject vehicle
immediately ricocheting off wall crossing interstate
at a contrary vector relative to the sparse traffic
at that hour made its way across the low guardrail along
right edge of interstate sliding at a high rate of speed down
the embankment and onto the exit ramp where it impacted
the ramp’s right guardrail with force sufficient to snap one thick wooden
supporting post in two uprooting the major segment with
a loud concrete-and-metal crunching grinding noise the sound and
vibration of which were sufficient to wake several persons
sleeping in the houses immediately to the west of
exit ramp subject vehicle twisted and crushed rested against
damaged right guardrail of exit ramp when a passing motorist
pulled over and stopped and called for help on his cell phone a second
passing motorist pulled over and stopped and approached subject
vehicle peering inside shrinking back turning covering her mouth
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
probably blow low-vent all night, rain-smell coming in.
no need for pumping water pump, little motor whirring,
always seeming on the verge of breakdown.
cat hiding under the car in the drive,
waiting for the slim possibility of a second supper.
no hunting sparrows or mice in this weather.
hummingbirds braving the spattering rain,
sipping from birds of paradise before sunset.
boys with basketballs under their arms,
standing at windows, watching the clouds.
(Copyright 2023 by Tetman Callis.)
“Suppose that the true laws of motion of atoms were given by some strange equation which does not have the property that when we go to a larger scale we reproduce the same law, but instead has the property that if we go to a larger scale, we can approximate it by a certain expression such that, if we extend that expression up and up, it keeps reproducing itself on a larger and larger scale. That is possible, and in fact that is the way it works. Newton’s laws are the ‘tail end’ of the atomic laws, extrapolated to a very large size. The actual laws of motion of particles on a fine scale are very peculiar, but if we take large numbers of them and compound them, they approximate, but only approximate, Newton’s laws. Newton’s laws then permit us to go on to a higher and higher scale, and it still seems to be the same law. In fact, it becomes more and more accurate as the scale gets larger and larger. This self-reproducing factor of Newton’s laws is thus really not a fundamental feature of nature, but is an important historical feature. We would never discover the fundamental laws of the atomic particles at first observation because the first observations are much too crude. In fact, it turns out that the fundamental atomic laws, which we call quantum mechanics, are quite different from Newton’s laws, and are difficult to understand because all our direct experiences are with large-scale objects and the small-scale atoms behave like nothing we see on a large scale. So we cannot say, ‘An atom is just like a planet going around the sun,’ or anything like that. It is like nothing we are familiar with because there is nothing like it. As we apply quantum mechanics to larger and larger things, the laws about the behavior of many atoms together do not reproduce themselves, but produce new laws, which are Newton’s laws, which then continue to reproduce themselves from, say, micro-microgram size, which still is billions and billions of atoms, on up to the size of the earth, and above.” – Richard P. Feynman, The Feynman Lectures on Physics, Vol. I (emphases in original)